It's over.

It's taken me a while to get up the guts to write this post. It seemed as though every time I went to write it, it made it real... the fact that my exchange has finished.

I was about to write 'my life in France is over,' except it's not, really. It's only just begun. I spoke with my host mummy today (I love her) and Mimi (I love her too) and I realised that there are some people that you will never be able to part ways with.

Leaving was hard. Very hard. I cried a lot and denied it was happening, until we were sitting on the plane, about to leave Paris, and I burst into tears because it was finally over. And so Bree, Millie and I all cried and phoned our friends and parents to let them know that we loved them, to thank them, to just spend those last few minutes with them.

By the way, I finished packing my bags literally just before we left.

Being back is weird. It's like nothing has changed, but at the same time, everything has changed. I am a completely different person to whom I was when I left, and this makes me extremely happy. This makes it somewhat hard with regards to friends and family, but I guess that you just have to wait and see. And in the end, things will be ok. That's probably the main thing that I learnt over there:

"Don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing's gonna be alright" (Bob Marley)

I miss France. People say it's hard leaving your home country, but I don't think people ever really talk about what it's like to leave. Leaving France was harder for me, because I knew that this time, I wasn't going to be back in a year. It was for good.

I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss the food (OH MY GOSH I HATE AUSSIE FOOD). I miss my room. I miss my double bed. I miss Mazeres. I miss high school. I miss philosophy class. I miss giving la bise to everyone. I miss the culture. I miss my life.

Exchange was incredible, without a doubt THE best experience of my rather short (so far!) life. I met some wonderful people, learnt a lot about myself and came away from the experience as someone a lot more mature and soft hearted. It was the best, but also the worst. Exchange is the hardest thing I have ever done and I can't recommend it for everyone, but it's something that I will never have any regrets about doing.

"They never said it would be easy. They just said it would be worth it."

And that, dear readers, it the truth.

My last night

I'm currently sitting in my room, with half an apple tart and a bottle of cider (yes, I love apples).

It's my last night and my luggage still isn't ready (I procrastinate a lot) and I'm not ready. I don't know how to say goodbye to my host family...how can I say goodbye? I think I'm probably going to cry a lot, but I don't want to set my host sister off too, so I'm going to try and keep as strong as possible (it's going to be hard).

I can't believe it's really over.

Voila.

I have now finished school.

And.

I hate goodbyes.

I'm never going to be the same.

Thanks.

You mean more to me than you'll ever know.

TERMINAL L 2010-2011.

I love my host mum

"Yeah, so, I smoked shisha."

"And weed? Come on, I know you did."

"No! I promise."

"Yeah..."

She's pretty freaking awesome. We've had ups and downs, but I think in the end, she's one of the coolest most amazing awesomest people I know, and I'm really glad she's my host mum. What I love about her is that I know that I can tell her anything, no matter what.

I HATE APPLYING FOR JOBS.

That is all.

Pour ceux que j'aime.

This is a song that I've been listening to a lot lately, thinking about my depart. It's from the musical Wicked and I think it manages to convey what I'm feeling about saying good bye here. It's been translated into French (by me) for the people here. Go to youtube and type wicked + for good if you want to listen to it. Not all of it has been written here, just the parts I found really spoke to me. Basically the song talks about two best friends who are leaving each other and they don't know when they'll see each other again, so they're saying thank you for what the other has done for them.

Ici, c'est un chanson a qui j'ai beaucoup ecoute cette semaine en pensant de mon depart. C'est de la comedie musical Wicked et ca parle beaucoup de mes sentiments de dire au revoir a tout le monde ici. Je l'ai traduit en Francais pour vous qui parlent francais, mais je suis desole pour tous les fauts- c'etait vraiment vite-fait et je n'ai pas d'accents sur mon clavier. Aussi, j'ai traduit 'you' a 'tu' parce que c'est comme ca dans le chanson, mais c'est plutot 'vous' pour moi, parce qu'il y a plusiers qui vont me manquer. Si tu as envie d'ecouter a ce chanson, aller sur youtube et tapper wicked + for good. Je n'ai pas tout ecrit ici, seulement ce que j'ai trouve vraiment bien. En bref, le chanson parle de deux meilleurs amies qui se separent et elles savent pas quand ells vont se voir encore, donc elles disent merci pour ce que l'aute a fait pour eux-meme.

I've heard it said

J'ai entendu dit

That people come into our lives for a reason

Que des gens viennent dans notre vies pour un raison

Bringing something we must learn

En apportant quelquechose qu'on a besoin d'apprendre

And we are led

Et on est coinduit (?)

To those that help us most to grow if we let them

A ceux qui nous aident le plus si on les laisse faire

And we help them in return

Et en echange, on les aide

Well I don't know if I believe that's true

Alors, je ne sais pas si je crois que c'est vrai

But I know I'm who I am today

Mais je sais que je suis qui je suis aujourd'hui

Because I knew you

Parce que je te connais

Like a comet pulled from orbit

Comme une comete tire de l'orbite

As it passes the sun

En passant le soleil

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Comme un ruisseau qui fait face a un rocher

Halfway through the woods

A mi-chemin a travers les bois

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

Qui peut dire si j'ai change pour du bien?

But because I knew you

Mais parce que je te connais

I have been changed

J'ai ete change

For good

Pour du bien, toujours

It well may be

Peut etre

That we will never meet again

On ne se jamais rencontrai encore

In this lifetime

Dans ce vie

So let me say before we part

Donc laisse-moi dis avant qu'on se separe

So much of me

Que beaucoup de moi

Is made of what I learned from you

Est fait de ce que j'ai appris de toi

You'll be with me

Tu seras avec moi

Like a handprint on my heart

Comme une empreinte de main sur mon coeur

And now whatever way our stories end

Et maintenant n'importe quelle facon que notre histoires fini

I know you have re-written mine

Je sais que tu as re-ecrit le mien

By being my friend

En etant mon ami

Like a ship blown from its mooring

Comme un bateau souffle de son amarrage

By a wind off the sea

Par un vent de la mer

Like a seed dropped by a skybird

Comme une graine fait tombe par un oiseau-du-ciel

In a distant wood

Dans des bois eloingnes

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

Qui peut dire si j'ai change pour du bien?

But because I knew you

Mais parce que je te connais

I have been changed

J'ai ete change

For good

Pour du bien, toujours

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

Qui peut dire si j'ai change pour le bien?

I do believe that I have changed for the better

Moi, je crois que j'ai change pour du bien

Because I knew you

Parce que je te connais

I have been changed

J'ai ete change

For good

Pour du bien, toujours

Je vous aime!

Heart.

These people mean the world to me.

Mon petit poney Fizzle Pie (cherches pas...)

Titi, Mimi et Kiki